Really? I mean, really?

So, I’m probably going to get a ton of flack for posting the email in its entirety here, but I have to get a few things off my chest. I’ll discuss my online radio silence in another post later.

First of all, yes, I do have a profile on WitchVox. But, it’s pretty darn specific about the path I follow and I created it back in like 2000, used it to create listings for various pagan groups I led and so forth. I just haven’t taken it down yet. I think I get one message every two or three years and they are always personal questions like if I know of anyone in my area that does ___. So, imagine my surprise to get this little gem in my inbox last night.

From: Briana Crusan (email withheld)
Subject: [VoxMail 200144] Tax time means planning your vacation!

Hello Friend!

Summerland Spirit Festival, is coming up fast and we would love for you to be a part of this amazing spiritual experience!

Top Ten Reasons to attend Summerland:

10) Beautiful land with over 300 acres to explore!

9) Just the right balance of workshops and down time.

8) Inner tubes for creek chillaxing available.

7) New Youth activities for the little ones

6) Fantastic Merchants for your shopping pleasure.

5) Powerful and inspiring Rituals to feed your soul.

4) Intention setting and prayer time every day.

3) Outrageous fun pole dances and gender bending.

2) Bath house with private showers and flush toilets.

1) The festival is CATERED!! This means no cooking, no clean up, and more time to enjoy your fellow participants, the land, the ambiance, or just relax!!

But the real reason you should come to Summerland Spirit Festival is to experience the magick of connecting with all the fabulous people! We would really appreciate you joining us, for the best part is YOU! Festival and registration information is available on our website at: http://www.summerlandfest.com

Bliss-ed Be!

Briana Crusan
Marketing Director and Ambassador of Awesome
Summerland Spirit Festival

IP address and things removed.

Now, there are a number of things I take issue with in this email. The first is that it is anything but professional. This is a casual solicitation like one would send someone they actually knew. Except I don’t know who this person is and I don’t know why they think I would be a good match for their festival.

Use of the non-existant word “chillaxing” made me groan immediately. As did use of  “Bliss-ed”. Poor use of commas didn’t help. But I was pretty much just going to ignore it as granola crunching hippie pagan crap until I saw this:

3) Outrageous fun pole dances and gender bending

Followed by

and more time to enjoy your fellow participants,

Um.. Maybe I’m missing something, but are we promoting a pagan festival or a sexing free-love orgy type festival. Because the inclusion of “pole-dancing” and “gender-bending” along with the suggestion that I should “enjoy my fellow participants” has me questioning that. And exactly what about my profile makes you think I would be interested in such activities?

So, since I’m a glutton for punishment, I went to their website to see what sorts of presenters or workshops are available. I noticed that admission to this festival is in the neighborhood of $250-300 bucks for 9 days, but in order to get more information I have to fucking register on the site. For which they use that tired old pagan drivel of an excuse of it being for “the privacy of their attendees.” That’s bullshit and I’m calling a spade a spade. Your general publications to get attendees should not include the names or photos of any attendees. Go to Circle Sanctuary’s site and read up about PSG. The information is out there, plain as day for me to look at and decide if I want any part of it without have to register.

The fact that to even see who they are getting for presenters and whatever I have to register, tells me that there is probably something going on at this festival that doesn’t exactly fall within the realms of local ordinance and Wisconsin state, if not Federal law.

So, in closing: No, thank you, Summerland Festival and your self-proclaimed “Ambassador of Awesome”, but I will not be joining you on your little ‘festival’ in the woods of my home state. I have nothing else going on, but… I’m busy. Know your audience and I am not it.

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4 Comments to “Really? I mean, really?”

  1. Don’t you know, Paganism is simply a front for a hedonistic lifestyle. Did you not get the memo? #sarcasm

  2. I just want to say thank you so much for your critique of my email. This really helps me to see that what I think is fun or funny can be taken out of context. This will really help me improve my language for future material. Blessed Be.

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