I have been everywhere but here, it seems. But, this page is not wholly abandoned. I would open it, look at it, try to think of something witty to say and words would fail me. I am in a period of recovery.
Last post I made in this blog was in August. Six months or so ago. Since then I have gone through a lot of physical trials in terms of my health. Things escalated, some things still get worse (I think I broke a tooth in my sleep last night even though my dental x-rays a week ago were fine), but my spirits are mostly lifted. Not because it can’t get worse, because if there is one thing the past 12 months have shown me is that it always can, but that if I let myself fall into a depression I will never climb out of it.
I’ve turned to humor. Yes, some of it is off color and offensive and yes, I find that some people of a more sensitive nature don’t care for the way I crack jokes about my health problems but honestly, I think that as long as I am laughing at it as a way to cope with something I am running out of strength to cope with, that they should stop trying to tell me how to cope in a way that makes them more comfortable. Honestly, people. I am the one chronically in physical or mental pain, not you.
Nearly all of my ailments have some sort of neurological misfire at the base of them, when you break it all down. None of them have a cure or reliable treatment. There is no positive in that I can take away other than to laugh away the struggles when I can and enjoy the good days when I have them. The seizure like problems that happen in my sleep sometimes, that have yet to happen at a point to be documented, the tremors, the numbness, the vision loss, the flashing lights in the eyes… this is all troublesome. I’m sure there are more tests in my future and changes of diagnosis. I’ll live or I won’t. That is the crude truth of the matter. I had better live my life while I’m able instead of moping about.
I really do hope to get back to this blog, back to topics of relevance and find my way again. My path is ebbing and flowing a bit. I’m still happy in the Greek way of things, but I’m not exactly sure which part of it is right and so forth. We’ll see.
One day at a time.